Making the Most of Life After Divorce: Tips for Success
No matter if the decision was respectfully mutual, one-sided, or an all-out explosion, divorce can be hard for anyone. Most people enter a marriage thinking, “That’s it! This is my forever person.” Finding out that “forever” ends pretty early can be earth-shattering. Remember, no matter how you spin it, divorce happens because something in the relationship wasn’t working out. At the end of the day, divorce can be liberating and self-motivating.
Let’s talk about how women can make the most of their life after divorce.
Feel It Out
Some days will feel exhausting, and others will feel invigorating. Let yourself have both days. Lean into the bad ones by crying it out with a sad song, journaling, and keeping good friends around. Ignite the good ones by screaming with all the windows down, writing out new future plans, and doing something creative that inspires you.
Remember, there’s no wrong way to feel your feelings. It’s just important that you do. The longer you hide them from yourself, the longer it will take to fully heal.
Practice Self-Care and Emotional Regulation
If you’re familiar with anxiety disorders, you may know that the brain’s neurological warning systems for impending doom haven’t evolved as rapidly as our societies have. As a result, when things go wrong in life, it can literally feel like we’re in a life-or-death situation, when in truth, nothing around us is lethal.
So if you’ve been feeling panicked lately, it’s completely normal. Let’s try to regulate your nervous system by practicing self-soothing techniques like mindful meditation, lighting a comforting candle, or cuddling up under a soft blanket to your favorite movie. Try to do one thing every day that makes you feel productive—it’s a quick self-esteem boost during tough times! Even making your bed every morning is enough to make you feel in control of your life. (Something we all crave deeply.)
Be Honest with Yourself About Your Mental Health
When feelings of sadness and despair turn into neglecting your health, not showing up for work, and angry outbursts, it could be a sign that something deeper is going on. Depression affects 28% of people (age 40+) following a divorce, according to an AARP study. Work out your aggression physically by picking up kickboxing or doing some intense gardening. It’s liberating to feel so in your body that you get out of your head.
Try to stay social (even on days when you’re not feeling it). Instead of staying the whole night, just promise to show up for the first 15 minutes, then you can duck out early. Isolation only exacerbates symptoms of depression and anxiety, so try to break it now and then.
Start Your Day with Affirmations
If the negative thoughts get overwhelming, try talking yourself out of them with positive affirmations every morning. Here are some that may feel cathartic depending on your situation…
I get to decide my own worth.
I release the anger and judgment I have for my ex.
I am free to be whoever I like.
I’ve learned a lot from those I loved and I am only getting better.
Get Yourself a Good Therapist
Switching from having someone to talk to every day, to coming home to a dark, quiet house can be disorienting. Your thoughts are suddenly louder and more noticeable than before. You have unexpected free time to kill, and maybe your partner has the kids today. It can be nice to have someone to talk to—someone confidential who keeps your interest in mind and is professionally prepared to help!
Free up some space in your head for positivity and growth by working with a therapist who gets it. Together, we can practice gratitude for the life you had while always working toward the life of your dreams.
Ready to get started?
Reach out to us today to schedule your first appointment.
Through Therapy Collective
Our team of culturally competent therapists is here to offer a warm and safe space to help you navigate life’s hardships with a sense of encouragement and empathy. Find out more >
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