How to Set Boundaries and Expectations In Polyamorous Relationships
No matter what type of relationship you’re in, they all require some time of idea of what your expectations are. Family members, friends, coworkers, romantic partners. Any and all types of relationships require knowledge of what each person involved expects from the other person.
Boundaries are what help make and keep relationships healthy. They’re what help outline the expectations that each person has for the relationship moving forward. While they may seem like a harsh ask, it can actually be the opposite. The most healthy types of relationships all have boundaries.
No one said relationships were easy. They require a lot of work, attention, and detail. Adding more people into the mix can make it a little more challenging. No matter how many people are involved, it’s important to set boundaries and expectations for each person.
This is how to set boundaries and expectations in polyamorous relationships.
Acknowledge Your Wants and Needs
Before you start setting boundaries, it’s important to look inward and to better determine your own wants and needs. Try to make a list of what you’re looking for versus what you’re trying to avoid. What aspects do you want out of a relationship? What characteristics from past relationships may not have worked out? Go through all of the positives and negatives as a baseline to determine the boundaries you’d like to set for yourself and your relationship moving forward.
Be Open and Honest
Once you’re ready and have a list of boundaries, it’s important to be open and honest and communicate them clearly. You can’t expect someone to just assume what you want and need. If you have boundaries, make sure your partners are aware of your expectations, wants, and needs. Setting clear and direct boundaries can help avoid any miscommunication in the future. Make sure you take the time to listen to each person’s boundaries. Try not to interrupt anyone while it’s their turn to speak. If you’re unsure of anything, ask questions. Once the boundaries are set, it’s important to respect the boundaries that are set and show that you care about each other.
Practice Self-Care
Alone time is extremely important in and for your relationship. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to spend every second with your partners. Your alone time can be extremely important and beneficial for yourself and your partners. You have to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. This means fueling your body properly with healthy and well-balanced meals, drinking enough water, prioritizing your sleep, and practicing self-care. It’s okay to take a little time for yourself to rest and recharge or to partake in a hobby or activity that you enjoy. You don’t have to do everything with your partners. Your alone time can make you a better person for yourself and your partner in your relationship.
Seek Additional Support
Relationships can be challenging. When two people come together, you have to find a balance and flow with two completely different personalities, wants, needs, desires, values, and more. Throwing another person into this mix can make it even more of a challenge. Setting boundaries and expectations is essential in any type of healthy relationship, no matter how many parties are involved. If you’re having a bit of a challenge setting and enforcing boundaries, you’re not alone. It may seem like a harsh ask, especially for partners, but it’s what helps to keep a relationship healthy. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help from time to time.
Seeking additional support doesn’t mean your relationship is over. It actually shows how much you care about yourself and your relationship. Reach out today to learn more about setting boundaries and expectations in a polyamorous relationship through relationship counseling.
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