Life often feels like a game that you’re trying to navigate. You roll the dice or spin the wheel. When you end up at a crossroads, you have to choose the path that looks the most promising. You have to weigh out all of the pros and cons.
One part of you may want to go to the left, while another part may be telling you to go to the right. Each decision you have to make in life can feel like an angel or a devil on your shoulders trying to help you make the best decision for yourself and your needs. You’re the detective of your life, and it’s time to unravel the mystery. Let’s learn more about IFS, what it is, and how it can help.
What is IFS?
IFS stands for internal family systems. It was developed in the 1980s by Richard Schwartz. Schwartz believed that the mind is a system of interconnected parts that each hold their own role and perspective. IFS was formed so that individuals could better understand the different parts that helped make them into the people they are today. Once achieved, they can accept and fully embrace all parts of themselves.
The Self
The idea behind IFS is that your true Self is who you truly are at the core. The Self is made up of eight C’s and 5 P’s. The eight C’s are confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity, courage, compassion, and connectedness.
The five P’s are presence, patience, perspective, persistence, and playfulness.
The Parts
In addition to the eight C’s and the five P’s, there are also three main parts inside of yourself:
The Firefighter
The firefighter part becomes active when a trigger is present. When a negative memory occurs, a behavior may be done to help put out or dismiss these thoughts and feelings, similar to a firefighter putting out a fire.
The Manager
The manager is the part of yourself that helps guide you or manage different situations and scenarios to avoid any negative experiences or pain.
The Exile
The exile is the part of yourself that the firefighter and manager parts work hard to make sure doesn’t come out. The exile part is the part that can bring on negative thoughts and feelings relating to painful memories and trauma.
The Process
IFS is a six-step process. The process involves working with a therapist to help you identify these different parts and release any harmful parts:
Find—The first step involves looking inward and focusing your attention on the different sensations in your body.
Focus – Once you find a part of your body, you can focus your attention on this one part.
Flesh Out – The next step is to learn more about this different part. Pay attention to the different emotions that are associated with this part.
Feel Toward—Tell your therapist how you feel about this part. This can help give your therapist a better idea of how much influence this part has on you.
Befriend—Take the time to better understand the part and how it affects your life. Even if you don’t love this part, it’s important to acknowledge it and accept it because it helps make you the person you are today.
The befriending stage may be one of the hardest parts of the IFS process, but the last step can be just as hard. The final step in the process is fear. During this stage, you will learn more about the fears that you have in your life.
Next Steps
IFS has treated several mental health conditions like anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, and substance use disorders. If you’re interested in learning more, reach out to us today to see if IFS therapy suits your needs best.
Through Therapy Collective
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