top of page
Find A Therapist in Minneapolis, St. Paul, Twin Cities, Minnesota


Home >  News

  • Writer's pictureThrough Therapy

Anxious Attachment Styles & Dating: How To Deal With This

Anxious Attachment Styles & Dating: How To Deal With This
Anxious Attachment Styles & Dating: How To Deal With This

When it comes to dating, you would consider yourself to be somewhat of a worry wart. You’re always questioning and second-guessing yourself. Even if your partner makes plans or reassures you, your mind immediately starts to obsess and worry over what could and will go wrong.

They’re going to break up with me.

What if I did something wrong?

I probably won’t hear from them.

You feel like you constantly have negative thoughts circulating through your head. You’re often on edge, anxious, and nervous. There’s a good chance you’re struggling with an anxious attachment style. We specialize in anxiety treatment and are here to support you as well. Let’s learn more about how to deal with an anxious attachment style when it comes to dating.

Define Your Expectations

A relationship requires a bit of give and take. You and your partner should each have your own set of expectations that you’re looking for from the other person and within your relationship. Take some time to define what those are for you. Do you want to feel appreciated? Do you want to spend more alone time with your partner? Maybe you’d like your partner to show you love in other ways like physical touch or acts of service. Look at your past relationships and dig deeper into what worked and what didn’t work.

Communicate With Your Partner

After you define the expectations you have for yourself, your partner, and your relationship together, you can use that list to communicate them to your partner. Communication is the key to all types of relationships. You can use your past and past relationships as a way to make your current relationship even better than it already is. Don’t expect your partner to just know what you want or need. Set your expectations and discuss them with your partner so you’re both on the same page moving forward.

Look For Someone With a Secure Attachment Style

You know what they say – opposites attract. If you know that you’re already struggling with an anxious attachment style, start looking for someone with a more secure attachment style. Dating someone with a secure attachment style can help ease some of your anxiety and help you better meet your wants and needs. Plus, talking and being around someone with a secure attachment style can help you pick up on some of their behaviors and actions to become more secure in yourself and your relationship.

Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care is one of the best things you can do for your overall mental health and wellness. You can’t fill someone else’s cup if yours is completely empty. It’s time you put yourself first. Take care of yourself and your individual needs. This means fueling your body properly with healthy and well-balanced meals throughout your day, drinking enough water, and aiming for at least eight hours of sleep each night. Your self-care could also include moving your body, which can naturally reduce stress and increase your overall mood. Self-care looks different for everyone. Find something that you enjoy doing that also relaxes and recharges you and get after it.

Seek Additional Support

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help. If your anxiety is starting to impact your daily life and routine, it may be time to reach out for additional support from a licensed and trained mental health professional.

An anxious attachment style didn’t happen overnight which means it will take some time before you can completely overcome the negative thoughts, behaviors, and signs and symptoms you may be experiencing. All change takes time. There’s no better time than the present for you to become more secure in your relationships. When you’re ready to make the change, we’re here to help.

Reach out to us today to set up a consultation.



Through Therapy Collective

Our team of culturally competent therapists is here to offer a warm and safe space to help you navigate life’s hardships with a sense of encouragement and empathy. Find out more >



Therapy and Counseling in Minneapolis, St. Paul, Twin Cities.
Counseling & Therapy Services in Minneapolis, MN

We look forward to connecting with you!

For more information or to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation with one of our clinicians, please fill out our contact form or send us an email. Our therapists are based in Minneapolis but work with clients in St. Paul and throughout Minnesota (and beyond thanks to TELEHEALTH!)

bottom of page