It feels like you’re stuck. You seem to be following the same routine. You’re making the same mistakes over and over again. You continue to go after the wrong people. You keep telling yourself it will be different. They’ll change or you can help to change them. You’re even starting to question if you’re the one who needs changing.
You’re fully aware that if you go after the same type of people, it will end in the same result. You know from personal experience. Time and time again. No matter how bad you want it or how hard you try, you just can’t seem to break this cycle. Are you repeating the same relationship mistakes? Here’s how to learn from your relationship mistakes so you don’t keep repeating them.
Figure Out What You’re Looking For
If you continue to fall for the same type of person or are finding yourself making the same mistakes in the relationship, maybe you need a clearer idea of what exactly you’re looking for. Bust out a journal and write a list of what you’re looking for. You can also make a separate list of the qualities you’re not looking for. This can help you fine-tune your wants and needs and look out for these things when you’re ready to start dating again.
Don’t Rush In
It can be easy to want to rush into a new relationship. Try not to do this, especially if you’re not ready. You need to make sure you’re leading with your head and not just your heart. Make sure you’re making good and positive decisions for yourself and your life as well. This goes for long-term partners as well. Make sure you’re still meeting your own wants, needs, and life plans and not just falling into a rhythm or routine just because you feel like you have to.
Stop Comparing
It can be easy to compare someone in your present to someone from your past. Try not to do this. You wouldn’t want your friends or partners to do this to you, so why are you doing it to them? Everyone is their own person. Each person has their own qualities, personality, quirks, skills, wants, needs, and more. Start each new relationship as a new chapter or an entirely new book. Get the closure you need from the past and move forward again.
Learn From Your Past
Take a good, hard look at your past and figure out what worked and what didn’t work. Both are equally as important to figure out when moving forward in finding a healthier relationship down the road. When you become more aware of the steps and decisions that you made to lead you where you are, you’ll have a better ability to recognize positives and negatives before jumping in head first.
Love Yourself First
When was the last time you decided to show yourself some love? Haven’t you ever heard that you can’t love someone until you love yourself? This saying can certainly be true. Make sure you’re making time for yourself, your wants, and your needs. You can’t expect a partner to be your main source of happiness.
Next Steps
If you continue to find yourself in the same situations and feel stuck in your past, you’re not alone. It can be hard to try something new out of fear or not knowing how or where to start. Moving forward in life and finding a healthy relationship is possible. Don’t give up hope.
If you need a little extra help or an extra push, reach out to us today to set up a consultation for relationship counseling.
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